"Blue"

I'm cleaning.... deep cleaning the pen marks that Jenna scribbled on our kitchen cabinets, and the black paint water that Amelia and Ava spilled on the kitchen island cabinets while painting pictures for me. I've uncovered Andrew's first braces for his feet when he was one - so tiny. And I found his tiny black hand splint which helped to keep his thumb out from his fingers, and about 20 pacifers in his dresser drawer and under his bed that he doesn't use anymore. I found two huge boxes of every paper that has been done for Drew and his school - from birth! I found Ava's first love which she carried everywhere -Potty Elmo, and Amelia's red and black star baby toy that matched her outfit and was sent all the way to Guatemala and came all the way home with her in May of 2004. I found the spilled sticky coffee creamer splatters all over the bottom of the fridge and the floor. I thought I cleaned that all up!! I found tiny traces of cat litter in our spare bathroom which was our brief attempt at pet ownership before we discovered Andrew & I couldn't live in the same house with a cat, even if the cat didn't touch us. I found the California travel book hidden in my nightstand where I put it when I was planning the top secret surprise for Dave's 40th birthday - a trip to Yosemite. I pulled that surprise off so great. As you can tell I do like to document things, and I'm sure to no surprise to anyone I have saved many of my kids things for their memory boxes. First birthday cards, balloons, first outfits/blankets, all that adoption paperwork - every single e-mail, every single sonogram picture of Jenna, their first drawings and writings, and special gifts to me. I have tucked away Amelia & Ava's pictures with their birth mom's while they were still in Guatemala, and will continue to hold the pictures especially for them when they ask those questions they are already starting to ask. I have thought many, many times over the years about taking Jacob's box (the one the hospital gave us to take home after he was born) down from the top corner shelf in my bedroom closet, but I haven't ever taken it down, and still haven't. Of course I will this week. I want it kept special, and find it a special place in our new home. I've found the two outfits I bought for Jacob deep in Andrew's closet. Outfits I didn't know where to put after he didn't come home - one outfit is pajamas that matched Andrews, and one is a onsie that says "Lil Star". I think I am especially "blue" this afternoon because my good friend called to tell me that our friend's son is very sick. I'm praying he will live. She's already lost her first son. Dave is here now, and I have to stop my post before my husband makes anymore fun of me. Everyone's allowed to be "blue" once in awhile.