The horrific story of my my mid forties HAIR…
I wanted to summarize my hair loss for my own
reference. If you don’t want to read the
details then please stop reading here.
The last thing my doctor told me was, “believe me you won’t
lose all of your hair”. That was in
September of 2015. Prior to that
appointment for a few months, I had been wearing a baseball cap every time I
went out in public. At that point, I had
lost about 50% of my hair. Most of my hair
loss was on the back of my head and was now a noticeable bald patch clearly visible
to anyone. I was never really interested
in fashion, or overly obsessed with my shoulder length straight brown hair
before, but suddenly now I was an expert on hats, fancy earrings, scarves and
anything to divert the attention away from my hair and my bald patches that
were clearly visible to anyone who even looked my way. A dear friend even asked her stylist to come
to my home to try to do something with what little hair I had left. I was desperate.
I had been a regular patient of my dermatologist. He had been treating me for severe eczema for
over a year by then, but now (September of 2015) hair loss was my most pressing
issue. His diagnosis for me was
“Alopecia” and again those words “believe me you won’t lose all of your
hair”. At this point I had been reading
about hair loss and how a lot of the times it can happen without
explanation. Surprisingly though, my eczema
had calmed down. My skin was
glowing. Even harder for me was that now
my hair was falling out, and it was happening quickly. Only once did I agree to the “treatment” for
partial hair loss – steroid injections in the scalp. This treatment is typically for partial hair
loss because the injections are given around the bald patch. A small inch sized patch may take about 10
shots around the edge. I was given shots
on my original bald patch in the fall of 2015.
It wasn’t too painful, just uncomfortable and stressful. At this point my plan was not to do any more
shots if more hair fell out.
In the winter of 2015 baseball sized clumps of hair were in
corners of my kitchen floor kind of like blowing tumbleweeds. Our vacuum canister and clothes dryer vent
also were full of clumps of my hair. My
kids found my hair in their food on a regular basis. My shirt was always covered with long strands
of my hair. The hair on my head would now fall easily on my arms or legs giving
me the sensation of bugs crawling on my skin.
Taking a shower became an emotional experience. I hated it.
Every time I showered hair would cover the drain. Do I wash my hair, do I comb it? All of these simple daily living issues were
now major sources of stress for me. Should
I use special shampoos, special combs, and medicines? There had to be something to stop my hair
from falling out so drastically.
Family and friends would claim, “You’re not losing your
hair, don’t worry!” I was told, stop
combing you hair, stop wearing hats, you’re interfering with your hair growth,
change your diet, try this special shampoo.
I visited several more doctors.
My endocrinologist and primary care doctors all ran blood work to rule
out other issues. Thankfully there were
none. Even showing my doctors my hair
loss was a stressor. Taking off my cap
and revealing what little hair I had left was always met with a gasp from the nurses
and doctors, even after my warning, “I’ve lost a lot of hair”. Apparently, as common as I was reading
Alopecia was, clearly these medical professionals hadn’t come across it too
often. Thankfully no serious issues were found with all of the tests that were
run. These doctors also gave me the diagnosis of
Alopecia and not simply natural hair thinning that comes as most of us
age. They told me there is no cure for
Alopecia, that a lot of the time it’s your bodies way of reacting to stressful
events, whether physical stressors or emotional. My primary care doctor advised me that an
anti-depressant might help. I declined because I wasn’t feeling stressed in any
other way.
I went to a wig salon in January of 2016 and was fitted and
purchased a wig. I wore my wig most of
2016. It received more compliments than
my own hair ever did. The day I came
home with my new hair, was the day I realized that things would all be okay. My wig was giving me a confidence that I had
slowly lost. It is just as easy to hate
my wig though. It’s hot. It’s heavy and it’s always on my mind. Is it going to move, or even worse come off
of my head? I am so thankful for my
wig, but can’t wait to take it off of my head the minute I step into the
privacy of my home.
By the spring of 2016 what little hair I had left was completely
gone. The friends who I confided in
would tell me, “just shave it, just shave the rest of your hair off”. If you can imagine, the task of shaving off
the last remaining strands of your hair isn’t an easy one. It’s hard and sad and fully succumbing to any
control I had left over my hair. Spring of 2016 I only cut off the remaining long hair strands I had leaving a
bit of a Mohawk hair style. I wore my
wig or a cap every time I went out in public.
By the middle of the summer of 2016 the little hair I cut a
month or so was growing. I had sort of a
Mohawk on top with leopard spots of hair on the back of my head.
And now my leopard spots have filled in and my new
hair is growing in on what was once my smooth bald scalp, but the hair is gray
– not brown. At this time, the end of
2016, it seems I have a filling in complete head of black/gray hair. MY HAIR IS GROWING!
Yet another massive hair
transformation for me in over a year’s time, it’s not so easy to have so many different hair styles over such a short
period of time and always bringing attention to yourself when I would prefer to
just blend in with my original ho hum hair.
And finally, I am not sure if my hair will come back fully, and really I
am not sure that I want it too. I am not
sure I can handle losing it all again.
And below the lovely pictures to prove it all...
Most of my hair gone.
NOW really most of my hair gone.. August 2016
Wig - January 2016
and NOW... December 2016
